time to write something. Again.
Since this blog is so dead , so I'm just writing for myself.
I guess nobody was following me there.
Every couple goes through few stages ,
They meet , their honeymoon , the comfort stage and also the tolerance.
So now , we are by the stage of tolerance.
There's still quite of suprises , but there were more argues and misunderstanding between us.
The only thing we can do is to tolerate , but we've stucked at this point.
There's lost of trust , lack of caring and supporting and many things revealed.
Doesn't really know he's such a short-tempered boyfriend ,
but it may be because of me. The reason is me.
There's huge fight and argue , we even 'nearly' break up for few times.
And I knew what's the thing that held us together ,
It's that we are still in love with each other.
Till that , I'm still believing in love that it could conquers quite a lots of thing.
A photo of me and him. Taken on 1.1.2012 :)
I've seem like to be a person that are not really know how to express myself or to explain.
So I should write it down over here.
That I really appreciate every single thing he had done to me ,
just that I couldn't find a way to tell him how I really felt deep inside my real heart.
I couldn't tell him how important is him to me ,
that's why he seems not to understand me.
Sometimes somehow , in life , things could not achieve in balance.
You wanna gain , and you'll definitely lose something.
I knew he cares , he was worried about me ,
upon my faults on him , I'm seriously gonna do something to pay back.
Problems is still there.
I really wanna proof that I'm not the kind of person that will make him to worry about ,
but I seem to not have the chance to do so.
As time goes by , I realized that I cannot compare him with my passion.
On the other hand just like he can't choose between me and Wushu. It's the same thing.
Like he always wanted me to choose between him and dancing.
I'm so sorry to him that I couldn't give him a really firm answer and I don't know why.
But what I could promise is ,
I won't stop but I'll just reduce the chances for me to dance , since he don't really like it.
How hope that he could really support me , like if he likes anything , I would support him too.
And I'm sure that this will be a really healthy and happy relationship.
Like one of my friend really did it with her boyfriend.
Not to follow people's way but I wish that both of us could find a way out and move on.
I didn't really choose anything but just keep things in a normal way.
I hoped he would understand.
Throughout those things that happened , I realized that I loved him more.
The love for him is increasing day by day and I don't know why.
It's just love.
But sadly , as my love is increasing , his trust on me is decreasing.
He wouldn't believe how much I loved him.
He's a stubborn kid , but he's my everything.
For me I've just locked myself to him and I dont wanna leave.
Please don't push me away. Let me stay :(
One of the best picture that describes him the most.
He's always like that. And this always made me smiled , made me feel really warm , by that moment I think I was the happiest girl in the whole world.
I don't know why I;m crying while I;m writing this post and I started to laugh here.
Because there's more happy and memorable memory than the bad ones.
I wished he could really accept me all over again , and to understand me more.
He's really my everything.
In exception of my family ,
He's the one I spent most of the time with.
The holiday in December was the most amazing life for me indeed.
We went shopping , swimming and did a lots of memorable thing together.
And one of the greatest suprise was the day that he picked me up from the airport
And he asked me out to have a walk. And there goes the suprise.
He opened up his car booth inside the car , and there was a big present , a cake , a helium balloon ( which I always wanted to have one ) and a booth that was fulled with purple lights.
And he used the guitar to played a birthday song for me , which he learnt himself.
* OMG I CANT STOP CRYING NOW , HOW WISH HE'S HERE.
HE'S MY EVERYTHING.
HE'S MY BABY BOY MY PENGUIN BOY MY HUBBY AND HE'S ME.
I MISS HIM , REALLY MUCH.
Few hours ago he said that however he still love me ,
although we can't be together.
And that's the most hurtful sentence I've never ever heard from him.
I wanted to move on with him ,
wanted to talk with him nicely
but he just couldn't get over it.
Dear , please come back. We cannot just dump our relationship because of just tiny little things.
We still have a really bright future.
I wanted to be your soul partner , wanted to support you in anything,
wanted to work hard together with you on our studies ,
wanted to spend more time with you ,
as you've said that this may be the end of our earth , we should spend more time together.
I hope we doesn't seperate with each other.
You may fall in love with other girls if we doesn't stay in contact.
Please come back , I know you still love me and so I do.
We will be one of the sweetest couple ever.
Not for people to judge but for me and your happiness.
ILOVEYOU. <3
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