Summary of May'12

Well, hello readers :D 

I hoped there are still some :X 

Gonna update about the month of May although it's still the 23rd, 

and I knew that I wouldn't have time to update after this.

Summary :

Went to Langkawi Island with my dad's company.

too long to write, I'm lazy X.X

Ended my winter semester, 2nd semester in ADP :D

A picture of me and a few of ADPians. Most of them are my best friends :)

It's actually hard to survive in university, and you may not meet true friends.

But I'm glad to have them. 

It's enough to have a few of true friends, indeed.

We even held a one-day-trip to Klang :D

Since there's a Taiwanese friend among us. We brought her for bah-kut-teh !

And of course karaoke !

Reminisce, still loving.

WHEEEEE :D

He wouldn't know I post this here.

Hmm. I'm actually a very nostalgic person.

I missed the old time, the past when we are being innocent, playful.

We knew each other since Form4, 

from friend, to best friend, to couple.

There's too much of misunderstanding between us. 

I wish time could overcome. 

But I knew there's still lack of trust and understanding.

However, I'm still loving. ♥

Kpop Dance Performance

Volume Up by 4minute

The Boys by Girls Generation

Nowadays You by Brave Girls

The dancers :) <3

That's me with Kpop-ish make up ! :)

We were quite satisfied with our costume and stuffs,

Cause we had really put so much of effort on it.

Well, enjoyed the practices preparation with the girls. :)

Day out with my BBFL, BFF Huey ♥

Such a pretty woman right !

hmm. It has been so long since we really have time to sit down and chat.

Waiting for the other 3 BFFs to finish their form6 mid term, and it's time to meet up ! :D

CANT WAIT ♥

Looking forward for June, cause I'm going to Taiwan with my best friends !

HAHAHAHAHAHA DAMN EXCITED :D

Result for winter sem is out too, it's much more better than last semester.

I'll work harder, to get more As for the next semester.

I HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL IN THE COMING DAYS.

GOOD LUCK JINGLE ! ♥

I have a boyfriend.

I had to spend some time on this, seriously. (:(
I've found out that blogging is actually a good habit to go with.
So yea :)


hmm.

I have a boyfriend.
Well, he looks not bad, he's an adventurer, he has the male chauvinism, he's a kid, he's caring(sometimes), he had slightly higher IQ than me. :P just a brief description.




I have a boyfriend.
He's smile is adorable, but he don't really like to smile in front of me.
I like to 'camwhore' with him, but most of the time he doesn't smile.
Whenever I wanted to take a photo with him, he'll just say, 'FASTER LAH'.
But, there's an exception. He smile whenever he takes a photo with his friends.
I had notice about 80% of his photo with his friends, he smiles like a sunshine. (not stalking -.-)
But why ? Does it means that I don't bring happiness for you ?
And for me, I felt terribly bad, terribly moodless. Why ?


I have a boyfriend.
He's not a man with flooding patience.
Not for the past, but for now.
He has only little patience on me. 
Quite some things that I did it wrong, did it slow, he'll just start to nag.
But, towards another person or his friends, things don't seem to be same as mine.
For me again, I felt terribly grudge.


I have a boyfriend.
He's helpful, he's FLOOD with care, he's sensitive.
Anyway, it's not for me. He doesn't really cares much about my daily routine,
except for something that he was always sensitive with.
He doesn't really cares what am I doing, how is my result going or some sort of important matters. 
He only cares, 
WHEN I DANCE (He thinks that I'm attracting guys)
WHEN I HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS (He thinks that I'm going out ONLY with guy)
WHEN I DON'T REPLY (He thinks that I'm replying another guy, which I'm actually angry with him) *he doesn't reply me though.
he's a sensitive man. -.-
But, with his flooding and tremendous 'caring cells' in his body and mind,
he always helps. Not a bad thing if my boyfriend loves to help.
But it is for EVERY SITUATION for his friend.
He helps them whenever they called, he lends money and so. 
Speechless. Why not me ? 


I have a boyfriend.
He's very outgoing, he likes to communicates, especially through internet.
He's an adventurer, an active person.
Despite the slightly 'strict' of his family, he likes to go home late.
He likes to stay overnight in school, and for everytime he said, 'I HAVE PROJECT TO DO'.
But sometime I just found out that, they were actually playing rather than doing project.
Frankly saying, I don't like a guy who goes home late, not that I don't like him though -.-
Likewise, I think that he's an internet freak.
He likes to chat with his friends (especially some girls) till late night, through phone through skype through MSN. For me, WTF ?
I admit that I'm jealous of it. Whenever he replies other, he'll definitely put a smile.
But for me, just a dead message. totally dissapointed.


I have a boyfriend.
He has a good girl-friend. He had a first love (Although he said I was the one)
This two girls met him before both of us does.
That's why I can't change anything. 
For the first one, they chat, they called, they heart talked.
They called each another BROTHER AND SISTER. Which I simply CANNOT STAND AT ALL.
What's the problem that you can't tell your girlfriend but another girl?
And I can felt the 'strange feeling' and irony feeling.
RIDICULOUS. I'VE NO COMMENT.
For his sort of 'first love',
FOR A DAY SHE IS HERE, I CAN'T LIVE WELL.
That's still for yesterday. I've gotta live my own life for myself.
I admit that she's prettier, she's more talented, if so, why don't you chase after her?
He promised not to concern about her updates, they don't even know each other well.
But he loved her since the age of twelve. Until the year before we were together.
Anyway, I knew that he still looks for her updates.
So, am I the replacement? I hoped I'm not.
But, what to do ?


I have a boyfriend. 
He likes talented people. Especially girls.
Girls with talent in sports and music, he's favorite.
He listens people's singing, he compliment people in front of me,
I'm like nothing at all AND i felt so useless.
He always says, you're perfect enough.
But why are you always complementing people in front of me ?


I have a boyfriend.
Nahh. Although there were so much of unsatisfying and unpleasant thinking of mine,
I still love him a lot.
He was the one which I'm really obsessed with.
Although the part of him which is important is not towards me....

let things continue naturally and smoothly..

maybe someday, I'll get back my position from him.

Awake.

Blue.

Sometimes is good to be alone, but sometimes not.

A heartbrokened day, but I'm alone now.

He doesn't know how much I needed him now. That much. Really much.

But I understand his situation that he cannpt spend his time on me for now.

I'm always trying to be open-minded, be optimistic, just that today's incident was just too much.

My body was shivering when I saw that, and my tears starting to fall.

I just can't control myself from crying. Since when I'm being such a 'cryful' person ? ...

Heart was being tearing, tears was being pushing out from my eyes. It was just too much.

I'm alwasy being suspicious on him about the girl, as he promised me he would never touch on her things ever, as I don't want to compare myself with her, as she's his first love.

The worse was, the girl was there too. Shittest thing ever.When I saw his internet history, he is still viewing on her profile.

He still wants update from her.

The moment was $%#$%^&*#.

Undescribable feeling. I'm mad, I'm sad, I'm being very aggresive and ignorance.

I left him behind without saying any words, as he knew what I do mind about.

There is no other feeling as this. I can feel everything, embarras, being lied.

How wish there's a corner for me to hide to. I feel so stupid.

Sometimes and somehow I feel that there's distance between us.

He said that we should seperate for some period, to focus on our studies.

It doesn't work, we still do care about each other.

We are just like one, when he's happy, I'm happy. While I'm sad, he's sad too.

But he always mentioned, we have no future. But why ? He just cannot give me an answer.

I hoped this is just a time that he really want to set himself down, have some times to concentrate. If it's like that I'm fine about it.
By this moment, I just want to know what does he thinks. What's in his mind.

I feel so stupid that I'm concentration on the wrong person.

The girl which looks nothing, it's actually a big threat. The girl which I care and mind about, it;s actually not a big deal. But still, I don't like both of them VERY MUCH.

I'll put more effort in this relationship. I will change my attitude that he doesn't like.

I KNOW I WILL.

Wishign us to be back like last time, which everyone always says,

the startinig of a relationship is always the happeist.

Although this incident left a scar, but I will still love him.

Although the girl will always be around, but I will still love him.

Although I can't control what he wanna view, but i will still love him.
Hope everything works in the future time.

Hello February !

Hello February ! ;D

So today is the last day of holiday, will be back to assignments, projects, classes :/

And a month later it's my mid-term and bla bla bla.

Just to post random stuffs here, too lazy for doing my assignment. NARRATIVE ESSAY 0.0

spot me and Johnny down there ! :)

HEHEH. Had few of great days with the love one and my family !

Celebrated the last day of CNY with him and my family :)

Enjoyed playing cards, eating steamboat ! Btw, me and him had won rm110 from the gamble , ready to spend ! LOL

i love you penguin boy , xx

Well, gonna stop this and continue with my essay outline.

The title of my essay didn't even appears on my mind. No idea, totally BLANK :/

Off to essay , Bye !

second day.

what's with my published time ? -.-

yesterday post was typed in the midnight but it shows morning , aih nevermind that's not important.

had actually not planned to reply him for the whole day.

But as usual , I can't stand for a day that there's no message from him,

or not to send him a message. SIGH.

Today was the last day to work at my mum's kindi. I would have more free time next week onwards.

But , he's not there and if he's there he don't have the time to accompany me so.

I MISS HIM. I can only tell this to myself. He would never ever know anymore.

Was playing Facebook , and saw something ridiculous.

He told me that he was home yesterday nigt ,

but he went out with his friends. And the girl.

Beers , sisha , drunk photos. WTH ?

I held my tears , and it's really really hard to do so. But I was really really sad.

He doesn't think of posting this photos will make me to think more.

And it cuts. hurt so much so much. It was just too much.

And I just bring out the word , BREAKUP.

In the afternoon , after I've fetched my mum to work , I planned to meet him for lunch.

But , there's no reply anymore. He didn't tell me where he is.

So I went to find Chian and Michelle. And... I saw his car.

I think there's no more feeling from him towards me cause he wouldn't ignore me like that before.

Or he really gave up on me.

Just that I'm the one who keep holding back and irritating him.

Heart broke , broke , broke , broke BROKE.

Totally blue. for the whole day and there's still no message !

Imma so die. I'm dreaming when i'm driving , talking , everything in my mind was just HIM.

we've been through so many fights and argues.

We broke up , we be together. And it happens for a few times.

I knew that both of us are heartbroken.

But sometimes argue should've help couples to move on , right ?

Argument will make us to see better option.

I knew that I've did something wrong before. I knew that.

Perhaps this is the time for me to be more mature !

And what I need from him is patience and time :'(

I would really spend my coming days with just only one guy , cause I think he's worth it.

I wouldn't wanted another choice , since I've choose him.

One of our funniest photo ever.

I miss him. I miss our smile when we were together.

I miss

watching movie with him , that was the most amazing thing ever.

shopping with him , he'll always gives suprise.

eating with him , happiest moment ever.

swimming with him , enjoyable moment ever.

hugging him , sweetest thing ever.

having a nap with him , most comfortable sleep I could never ever get.

RAYMOND , I MISS YOU.

Without you , my life are getting away from the right track.

Everything goes off beat , goes to a wrong way.

I couldn't concentrate , couldn't focus.

But you're still out there living with your bunch of friends and the flirty girl happily.

Which after I saw those photos , I don't like them.

I bet he would talk to that how sensitive am I , how annoying am I.

But somehow , thanks them for being with him by that period.

Tears.

I think I've lost a lots of tear as I cried every night since that day onward.

Bringing and living with my swollen eyes on the next morning.

I still have to carry on.

I won't give up on him. I'll still try my best to convince and to touch him.

Was currently addicted to two songs , How Are You by Jay Chou,

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri.

And I'm doing those covers and will be up very soon I think.

The both songs reveal my current situation ALOT.

Gonna off to bed now , I hoped that there's nothing happen on the night later.

Don't think he'll see this since he didn't really cares about me now.

But this blog will be part of my memory and to jot down everything happened.

It's like a diary for us.

Good night raymond. wan an :) nguek <3

the hardest period.

time to write something. Again.

Since this blog is so dead , so I'm just writing for myself.

I guess nobody was following me there.

Every couple goes through few stages ,

They meet , their honeymoon , the comfort stage and also the tolerance.

So now , we are by the stage of tolerance.

There's still quite of suprises , but there were more argues and misunderstanding between us.

The only thing we can do is to tolerate , but we've stucked at this point.

There's lost of trust , lack of caring and supporting and many things revealed.

Doesn't really know he's such a short-tempered boyfriend ,

but it may be because of me. The reason is me.

There's huge fight and argue , we even 'nearly' break up for few times.

And I knew what's the thing that held us together ,

It's that we are still in love with each other.

Till that , I'm still believing in love that it could conquers quite a lots of thing.

A photo of me and him. Taken on 1.1.2012 :)

I've seem like to be a person that are not really know how to express myself or to explain.

So I should write it down over here.

That I really appreciate every single thing he had done to me ,

just that I couldn't find a way to tell him how I really felt deep inside my real heart.

I couldn't tell him how important is him to me ,

that's why he seems not to understand me.

Sometimes somehow , in life , things could not achieve in balance.

You wanna gain , and you'll definitely lose something.

I knew he cares , he was worried about me ,

upon my faults on him , I'm seriously gonna do something to pay back.

Problems is still there.

I really wanna proof that I'm not the kind of person that will make him to worry about ,

but I seem to not have the chance to do so.

As time goes by , I realized that I cannot compare him with my passion.

On the other hand just like he can't choose between me and Wushu. It's the same thing.

Like he always wanted me to choose between him and dancing.

I'm so sorry to him that I couldn't give him a really firm answer and I don't know why.

But what I could promise is ,

I won't stop but I'll just reduce the chances for me to dance , since he don't really like it.

How hope that he could really support me , like if he likes anything , I would support him too.

And I'm sure that this will be a really healthy and happy relationship.

Like one of my friend really did it with her boyfriend.

Not to follow people's way but I wish that both of us could find a way out and move on.

I didn't really choose anything but just keep things in a normal way.

I hoped he would understand.

Throughout those things that happened , I realized that I loved him more.

The love for him is increasing day by day and I don't know why.

It's just love.

But sadly , as my love is increasing , his trust on me is decreasing.

He wouldn't believe how much I loved him.

He's a stubborn kid , but he's my everything.

For me I've just locked myself to him and I dont wanna leave.

Please don't push me away. Let me stay :(

One of the best picture that describes him the most.

He's always like that. And this always made me smiled , made me feel really warm , by that moment I think I was the happiest girl in the whole world.

I don't know why I;m crying while I;m writing this post and I started to laugh here.

Because there's more happy and memorable memory than the bad ones.

I wished he could really accept me all over again , and to understand me more.

He's really my everything.

In exception of my family ,

He's the one I spent most of the time with.

The holiday in December was the most amazing life for me indeed.

We went shopping , swimming and did a lots of memorable thing together.

And one of the greatest suprise was the day that he picked me up from the airport

And he asked me out to have a walk. And there goes the suprise.

He opened up his car booth inside the car , and there was a big present , a cake , a helium balloon ( which I always wanted to have one ) and a booth that was fulled with purple lights.

And he used the guitar to played a birthday song for me , which he learnt himself.

* OMG I CANT STOP CRYING NOW , HOW WISH HE'S HERE.

HE'S MY EVERYTHING.

HE'S MY BABY BOY MY PENGUIN BOY MY HUBBY AND HE'S ME.

I MISS HIM , REALLY MUCH.

Few hours ago he said that however he still love me ,

although we can't be together.

And that's the most hurtful sentence I've never ever heard from him.

I wanted to move on with him ,

wanted to talk with him nicely

but he just couldn't get over it.

Dear , please come back. We cannot just dump our relationship because of just tiny little things.

We still have a really bright future.

I wanted to be your soul partner , wanted to support you in anything,

wanted to work hard together with you on our studies ,

wanted to spend more time with you ,

as you've said that this may be the end of our earth , we should spend more time together.

I hope we doesn't seperate with each other.

You may fall in love with other girls if we doesn't stay in contact.

Please come back , I know you still love me and so I do.

We will be one of the sweetest couple ever.

Not for people to judge but for me and your happiness.

ILOVEYOU. <3